Create a Remembrance Butterfly Garden

A remembrance garden is a living way to honor someone you love. It can be a quiet place to reflect, a joyful patch of color filled with butterflies, or a small collection of flowers that keeps a cherished memory close.

Your garden can be large or small, carefully planned or gently grown over time. What matters most is the love and meaning behind it. Remembrance can bloom in many forms.

How To Begin

  • Begin with Your Intention

    Before choosing plants, take a moment to think about what you want the garden to hold. You may want to create:

    • A peaceful place to sit and remember
    • A butterfly-friendly garden filled with life and movement
    • A space that blooms during a meaningful month or season
    • A garden featuring a loved one’s favorite colors or flowers
    • A small memorial that can move with you
    • A place where family members can gather, plant, and reflect together

    Your garden does not need to be perfect or finished all at once. It can begin with one flower, one pot, or one packet of seeds.

  • Choose the Right Location

    Most butterfly-friendly flowers grow best in a spot that receives several hours of sunlight each day. Look for an area that is protected from strong winds and offers enough room for plants to grow without becoming crowded. Before planting, consider:

    • Sunlight: Choose plants that fit the sunlight that's available
    • Soil and drainage: You're looking for good drainage.
    • Visibility: Where do you want to be able to see the garden from?
    • Access: Make sure the space is easy to water, tend, and enjoy.
    • Safety: Check that your chosen plants are appropriate for children and pets.
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What to Plant

A butterfly garden is most helpful when it provides both nectar for adult butterflies and host plants where butterflies can lay their eggs and caterpillars can feed.

Plant availability and butterfly species vary by region, so native plants are usually the best place to begin. A local nursery, native-plant society, cooperative extension office, or pollinator organization can help you choose plants suited to your climate.

  • Nectar Flowers for Adult Butterflies

    Choose several flower shapes and colors, and plant them in groups rather than scattering single plants throughout the garden. Clusters are easier for butterflies to see and visit and plants should provide easy access to food throughout the season. Popular options include:

    • Asters
    • Salvia
    • Coneflowers
    • Black-eyed Susans
    • Coreopsis
    • Yarrow
    • Bee balm
    • Blazing star
    • Verbena
    • Goldenrod
    • Zinnias
    • Cosmos
    • Lantana
    • Lavender
    • Milkweed flowers

  • Host Plants for Caterpillars

    Host plants are an essential part of a true butterfly habitat. They provide food for caterpillars and support the butterfly’s full life cycle. Examples include:

    • Milkweed for monarch butterflies
    • Parsley, dill, and fennel for black swallowtails
    • Native violets for fritillaries
    • Passionflower for gulf fritillaries
    • Native grasses for several skipper species
    • Native trees and shrubs for many regional butterflies

    Caterpillars will chew the leaves of host plants. This is not a sign that the plant is failing. It means the garden is doing exactly what it was created to do.

  • Plan for Blooms Across the Seasons

    Choose plants with different bloom times so the garden provides nectar for as long as possible. A simple planting plan may include:

    Spring: Salvia, native violets, yarrow, and early-blooming wildflowers

    Summer: Coneflowers, bee balm, milkweed, cosmos, and zinnias

    Late summer and fall: Asters, goldenrod, sedum, and late-blooming salvia

    Your exact seasons will depend on where you live. Local native plants will generally provide the strongest support for nearby butterflies and pollinators.
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Choose a Garden Size

A meaningful remembrance garden can fit almost anywhere.

A Small Container Garden

A container garden is a gentle place to begin and works well for balconies, patios, porches, and small yards. Try combining:

  • One taller nectar plant
  • One compact flowering plant
  • One trailing or low-growing plant
  • A small remembrance marker or decorative stone

Choose the largest container your space comfortably allows, since larger pots hold moisture longer and give roots more room to grow.

A Window Box or Porch Garden

Use a window box or long planter to create a ribbon of seasonal color. Select compact flowers with similar sunlight and watering needs.

A simple combination might include salvia, dwarf asters, and a low-growing native flower.

A Small Garden Bed

A small bed can be created near a porch, beneath a window, beside a walkway, or around a tree where conditions are suitable.

Use three to five varieties of plants and repeat each variety in small clusters. This creates a calmer, more intentional look while making the flowers easier for pollinators to find.

A Medium Butterfly Garden

A medium garden can include multiple layers:

  • Taller flowers toward the back
  • Medium-height flowers through the center
  • Shorter plants along the edge
  • Host plants grouped in a quieter section
  • A shallow water source or resting stone
  • A bench, chair, or memorial marker

Curved borders can give the garden a soft, natural appearance.

A Large Remembrance Garden

A larger space may include winding paths, several planting areas, a seating space, native shrubs, flowering trees, and distinct areas that bloom at different times. Consider creating:

  • A central remembrance feature
  • A butterfly observation area
  • A family planting space
  • A quiet seat beneath a tree
  • A pathway lined with meaningful flowers
  • A section where visitors can add painted stones or written messages

Large gardens are often easiest to build in stages. Begin with one defined area, then expand as time and energy allow.

A Garden that Grows With You

  • Remembrance Elements

    Add remembrance items to your garden like special stones, a wind chime, or a hummingbird feeder. Choose items that bring meaning for you and can withstand the weather.

  • Help Butterflies Thrive

    Add a shallow clean water source, sunny resting places, shelter from the wind, and some natural untidiness to create the best habitat. Don't forget to avoid pesticides.

  • Create with Community

    Your remembrance garden is a space to come together in community. Every person navigates grief differently but we all benefit when we navigate through it together.

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A Gentle Note

Plant recommendations vary by region, and some plants that are helpful in one area may be unsuitable or invasive in another. Always confirm that a plant is appropriate for your location before adding it to your garden.

For personalized guidance, consult a reputable local nursery, native-plant organization, master gardener program, or cooperative extension office.